one-liners

*Experience is what you get whenever you don't get what you want
*If you're going through Hell . . . keep going.
*If you have something to say, raise your hand . . . and place it over your mouth.
*If you think experts are expensive, wait and see what amateurs cost you.
*Afraid of doing too much . . . then you'll always do too little.
*If the hokie-pokie isn't really what it's all about . . . what then, huh ?
*If you can't be a good example . . . then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
*All the world's a stage . . . I seemed to have missed the rehearsal.
*I read about the evils of drinking . . . so I gave up reading.
*I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
*Despite the cost of living . . . it still remains so popular.
*I chose the path less traveled . . . but only because I was lost.
*Get the facts first . . . you can distort them later
*As an outsider . . . what do you think of the human race.
*Friends are those rare people who ask how we are . . . then wait to hear the answer
*You are only young once . . . but you can stay immature indefinitely
*Don't cry because it's over . . . smile because it happened
*My mind works like lightning . . . comes in flashes
*I don't suffer from insanity . . . I enjoy every minute of it
*Have you ever noticed the people who tell you to calm down . . . are the ones that got you mad in the first place.
*If ignorance is bliss . . . why aren't more people happy?
*Some things are just better rich . . . coffee, chocolate, men
*Beauty is in the eye of . . . the beer holder
*Housework?? . . . I sweep the room with a glance.
*I try to take one day at a time . . . but sometimes several days attack me at once.
*How many of you believe in telekinesis? . . . Raise my hand
*Support bacteria . . . They're the only culture some people have.!
*I don't have an attitude problem . . . You have a perception problem
*Everyone has a photographic memory. . . Some just don't have the right film
*If you think nobody cares . . . try missing a couple of payments
* I just got lost in thought . . . It was unfamiliar territory
* Remember . . . Half the people you know are below average.
*Take care of your thoughts . . . they may become words.